I thought about calling this post “The good, the bad, and the ugly.” The good news from my last post was short-lived as a week later I developed a blockage that had me sick to my stomach for 12 hours with vertigo. I was taken by ambulette (yes, those are my feet) to the hospice hospital wing @ Bellevue Hospital called The Haven. I was there for a week. All the staff was great but with a name like “The Haven” I was expecting a beautiful place and the reality was more like Arkham in the series Gotham. People disappeared in the middle of the night and you never saw them again. My roommate, Doris, died one night in the bed only a few feet away from me. I was glad to get out on Tuesday, with the blockage gone and medication adjustments to help with head pain without much if any morphine.
I’ve been on a waiting list for months for a nice live-in hospice place in Manhattan. There really are no places to go to live in NYC and only 1 such place associated with Visiting Nurse Services of NY hospice and it only has 8 units. My niece in Connecticut found out about a one-of-a-kind live-in hospice place in Danbury CT with 12 units and put my name on that list also. While I was at Arkham, I mean The Haven, a unit became available in CT. They wanted to transfer me directly from The Haven to CT but that would have meant never going back to my apartment again to take care of anything. You have to take these units immediately or lose them. However, I needed some time to go home since I was not expecting to never see my apartment again or my cat when I was taken away in the ambulette. I was able to secure the room in CT for a few days without actually moving in, so I had 2 1/2 days to close out an apartment I’ve been living in for over 30 years. Since I really was in no shape to do much my miracle team got the job done — thank you Josie, Rainy, Andrea, & Lauren! I can’t thank you enough and I’m eternally grateful.
It was very difficult to say goodbye to my life there — many shed tears. I knew in my heart this was the right decision and I felt God was orchestrating everything, but that does not mean things aren’t incredibly hard and almost unbearable at times.
The good news is I moved yesterday, Friday Aug 19, into the beautiful place in CT where everything is taken care of; food, medications, 24/7 nursing available… so I’m no longer trying to juggle and manage these things. I need more help and care now than was possible at home. With end stage cancer things change day to day, moment by moment. Nothing stays the same.
I’ll write more about this place in CT that I’m so so grateful to be in now. I just wanted to get an update out about my move.
Much Love, Nancy